Saturday, May 11, 2013

What I Have Learned/Admitted So Far

Just before my first sabbatical, which was delayed a year due to moving into our facility, I had a very poignant dream.  I was at a going away party that the church was giving.  We were moving somewhere.  There were nice decorations and cake and punch.  Everyone was coming by and saying nice things to me.  In my dream Joe Goodson, who was our moderator and a friend with whom I had shared many road trips to SC CBF meetings came up to tell my how much he was going to miss me.  I remember looking at him and saying, “But Joe, I don’t want to go.  It’s just that I am so tired!”

This was our view--if I had been awake!
Already, less than a week into this time I am recalling that.  A friend asked me what I have done and I replied, “I have slept.”  Anita and I went to Hilton Head for a few days—and I slept.  2 naps in one day. 

It isn’t just getting old.  (Well, it might be!)  I think that most of the time I never allow myself to admit how tired I am.  There is always a sermon to be written, phone calls to make, articles to write, a wedding to celebrate, a funeral that you didn’t expect.  There are always people who stop by “just to talk.”  That is what I do!  That is my job!  That is what I love!

But I never admit how tiring it is. 

I don’t think any of us do.  Especially now with our cell phones and laptops and IPads, it is easy to work at home, on vacation, while watching TV.  Just stopping and doing nothing?  We just can’t.  

Admit that we are tired?  Not going to happen.

But right now, with nothing else to do….I can.  I have.

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